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I just started playing this game and it seems pretty fun, Everyone should try it out!!! |
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I don't have many friends on this journal so I don't check the birthdays very often... But Happy belated Birthday to the_geoffrey...just wondering how you are and how everything is going, since you don't update very often. |
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Somedays I find it very hard to be me, yesterday was one of those days it was a treat day and my hunny took me out to BK and got a double whopper hold the bread and we were sitting there next to the window and I looked over and the contrast was just too much for me... I thought I was going to break down cryingI guess it never really sinks in with me me how big I am...so it always suprises me when I am confrinted with it, I dont think it helps that Daniel wieghs about a buck 70. Today may be worse he just left to go to Kings Island without me...I could have went but wouldnt have had any fun at all...I cant walk that far and here is the BIG thing I cant ride the rides(and I LOVE the roller coasters) so I am depressed and not wanting to move at the moment
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Go to college or some form of continued education Lose massive amounts of weight. Find gainful employment. Have a family and be married again... :o( But alas none of those have happened as of yet, I dont think I can wait much longer on any of them...So I am going to try to keep up to date on here what I am Doing to achieve these said goals. So far what have done is implement a new way of eating...I am eating more frequently...but less so my sugar doesnt drop and then I binge{I am hypoglycemic) and my most important goal is to lose at least 80 pounds by next Gen Con...which is doable...I just have to keep at even if I suffer a set back...so far it it working I have lost 11 pounds since 7/24/06 but I want 80 pounds abouve and beyond that...and I am signing up on 4 classes this fall on grant writing and starting non profits... Wish me luck. |
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Last weekend was GenCon and I thought that I would never recover... My body hurt so bad for days and days, and just tried excedrin for the first time and it worked better than vicodin for the pain relief. Though I did meet some really nice people Like Goeff and Gail...unless I lose some weight though this year I dont think I I will be going next year. |
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Well as always I am late...Happy new Year!!! may it be better than the last 29 for me at least! My resolutions for the year 2006 1. My resolution since forever has been to lose weight and never really defined the amount. Well I did that in November and resoluted to lose 80 pound by December 31 2006. And thus far have lost 16 pounds so 20% there already!!! GO ME!!! 2. To take an active role in my life, and not just let it pass me by. 3. To further myself in my spirituality and figure out what I actually believe now. My paradigm is shifting rather rapidly and I think that alot of ppls are right now...I think that alot of people that are in my life right now may not be in it when I am done and there will be alot more people when I am done being drawn to me. I think that is it for now |
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Well we got approved for apartment near Hastleton...the only thing I am worried about is whether or not our roommate will be able to hold up her end of the bills...so far she hasn't time will tell..I am hoping for the best. Namaste |
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this weekend was extremely busy. Friday I went to D~'s house and did some energy and chakra work, and we also did some visualization work, i feel like I am having to learn all this all over, like I haven't really lived in the last five years, I guess in a way I haven't I have a very hard time trusting and relating to others. After my last 2 exes I dont think anyone could blame me. But then that would be giving them too much credit, I know this existance is my fault, I picked it, I have to learn my lessons, even if I dont want to. I am going through alot right now, I think everyone is. My sister is getting ready to get her marriage annulled, I don't know where my relationship is going(I am supposed to be getting married,but who knows these days), my roommate is getting divorced, a good friend of mine just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 and a half years, and another friend of mine is having another set of problems that I wouldn't wish for. The highlight of my existance right now is my weekly or bi-weekly sessions with D~, we had a major breakthru this week and I clean up some of the toxins in my system after the last session. Of course this weeks session is put on hold till I get off my cycle because he says that its best to let the body rest while this happens and do internal work...so every day I am meditating, working on my self image anddoing the chakra and grounding exercises that he gave me. I am a quick study and I am sure that I will feel up to myself very soon. Namaste |
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I havea new commitment to make to myself. to work on me whole-heartedly from now on. I have a hard time putting me first, and now I am suffering for it. I had some energy work done on saturday on my chakras, and my teacher worked on me for 3 hours straight, he said that I have some of the largest blockages in my chakras that he has ever seen, typically when we get together to do some work its like maybe an hour...but I havent seen him in a while and we talked and then he was like so do you want to do some work...THAT is what you came here for. and I was like ummm yeah...but that is what it always has been like between me and him, anyway for the past couple of days I have felt like crap and whe I concentrate i can feel the sludge in me...I got to start honoring myself and keeping that promise. I am also going to make a committment to Journal at least twice weekly here and possibly daily in the fantastic Journals my sister gave me for my birthday the other day. One thing my teacher told me to do is to hydrate myself thoroughly and eat plenty of protein and start on a regimen of omega 3's and he was willing to get those for me himself, and to stay away from all the dairy and soda(diet or regular) but all that is so hard...I wil do this tho. Anyone know of some good meditation music? let me know. |
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My thought for the day is: Think beyond yourself. What does that mean to me, basically try to think of others instead of yourself for a change. |
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depressed
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6.8
5.3